"Have you ever wanted to dissapear?"
~ 20 Dollar Nose Bleed
Yes. Countless times. My sense of belonging is near zero.
That's why I question. I confuse. I hestitate. I turn away. I leave. I remain silent. I smile. I cry.
People are like mirrors, you see your own reflections through them.
I've seen distorted images of myself. Blurred images. Additional features. Sometimes it's pitch black. Most of the time, I look alien. I'm a pain in the eye.
I don't know since when I felt this way. But it's been there and it's killing me inside.
When Syn Dee mentioned about the Malacca trip I agreed going. I didn't know why. I think it was the sake of making her happy. It was not because of what it should be.
We went. I finally found a purpose. It was too late. It was on our last night/day.
All I need was people to be honest with me. All I need was to reach out.
I was relieved. It was the best trip ever. I felt a sense of achievement and everything feels like it'll be okay. It was supposed to be the end. It was my beginning.
It doesn't matter what they think. All I need to know is that I'm being appreciated/loved. All that matters is that I am able to appreciate/love them in return.
Thank you, 5 sc1 for teaching me such an important lesson.
That's why I question. I confuse. I hestitate. I turn away. I leave. I remain silent. I smile. I cry.
People are like mirrors, you see your own reflections through them.
I've seen distorted images of myself. Blurred images. Additional features. Sometimes it's pitch black. Most of the time, I look alien. I'm a pain in the eye.
I don't know since when I felt this way. But it's been there and it's killing me inside.
When Syn Dee mentioned about the Malacca trip I agreed going. I didn't know why. I think it was the sake of making her happy. It was not because of what it should be.
We went. I finally found a purpose. It was too late. It was on our last night/day.
All I need was people to be honest with me. All I need was to reach out.
I was relieved. It was the best trip ever. I felt a sense of achievement and everything feels like it'll be okay. It was supposed to be the end. It was my beginning.
It doesn't matter what they think. All I need to know is that I'm being appreciated/loved. All that matters is that I am able to appreciate/love them in return.
Thank you, 5 sc1 for teaching me such an important lesson.
No comments:
Post a Comment